News


BBC Scotland CC's Freak Injuries


The very sad news of Mark Boucher's retirement from international cricket after being hit in the eye by a flying bail, prompted me to consider this club's litany of unfortunate injuries.

While none is as serious as that sustained by Boucher - for whose speedy recovery we are, of course, hopeful - it is none the less always a source of concern and occasional amusement to see our teammates lying prostrate.

So in no particular order:

Jack McGill - always keen to encourage new members to join the club, Jack was less than impressed with one enthusiastic volunteer who turned up for one practice session, broke Jack's nose and was never seen again. The game of Donkey went horribly awry when Russell-the-nosebreaker lost control of his limbs and in a tight circle of players flicked the cricket ball clean off the bridge of the president's schnozzle, precipitating day surgery at the Southern General and leaving Jack just one break from a full rhinoplasty...who will grab that honour?

David Holmes - as a body-on-the-line skipper, David's catalogue of injuries includes three concussions and at least one broken finger. The first of his concussions, however, came in the club's first ever league match, when diving at mid-off to stop a drive he inadvertently stopped the ball with his forehead. Gamely, he played on...and on...and then went to the pub and drank for the rest of the evening. Only, the following day at work, after asking the same question of the same person for the third time, did the penny drop and it was off to hospital for the first of many appointments. Still, it could have been worse: he could have thrown up at the side of the pitch...oh, hang on.

Matt Walmsley - the great white hope of BBC Scotland CC was due to make his debut for three successive weeks, but with constant and utterly predictable rain throughout July and August was forced to wait for his opportunity until the Active Life charity six-a-side tournament at Titwood, on the last recognised day of the 2010 Scottish season. With huge expectations on his shoulders, Matt went out to warm up and on the last draw of his customary pre-match fag, broke down with a torn quadricep. The hardened lump on his left thigh should have been enough to prevent Matt taking any part in the tournament, but with gritted teeth he played his full part, taking a wicket with a rank full toss before limping off for an off-season of physio.

Tom Cara - often proud (or should that be embarrassed) to be the club's most metrosexual man, Tom excelled himself in 2010 as winner of Injury of the Season, after missing three weeks of cricket with a crick in his neck. I'm sure he would have rather we glossed over the fact that that he acquired the injury whilst drying his hair.

Colin Wallace & Mike Stanger - although technically not a member of the club - playing before the club had been constituted - Colin had been a willing participant in the annual grudge match between the BBC Sport Scotland department and team of all-stars from around the rest of BBC Scotland.

On a scorching day of sunshine that saw the assembled players almost burn down Clydesdale's junior pavilion and Alex Salmond's future press advisor, Will McLeish, turn the air blue with obscenity after obscenity sledged from the boundary rope, Colin used all the instincts of a professional footballer to neatly control a shot hoisted to him at deep extra cover...on his chest, breaking a rib in the process.

As if matters couldn't descend further into farce, Clydesdale stalwart and former BBC producer, Mike Stanger, collapsed at the crease with a "cardiac incident" that prompted the summoning of an ambulance and a flurry of activity on the sidelines from one slightly inebriated doctor.




Comment on this story