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Team Dismore snatches defeat from the jaws of victory


With three overs to go and 24 runs to win, victory for Team Dismore seemed certain. But then Slider Hines started his approach…

Tuesday’s scheduled match against Clyde had been rained off, but there were 14 players eager to appease the gods of cricket. Teams were divided between captains, Slider Hines and Jockey Dismore, and amidst the drizzle a 12-over game began.

Hines demonstrated his skill at tossing (really? – ed.) and elected to bat. The formidable pairing of Kammy Butt and Lord Gesty Blane opened, but then the unthinkable happened: his lordship was clean bowled, first ball - a diamond duck. There was a pathetic whimper about ‘not having played much this season’ that encouraged the opposing captain to sportingly suggest a new rule that you could not be out first ball. Predictably, the pair went on to score a ton from eight overs.

With Blane’s (second) wicket finally falling, Alex Leithead went in to bat. A ridiculous leading edge went straight to Humpy’s hands, c&b, and not deterred by the response to his earlier generosity, Dismore oce again offered the batsman a second chance. After an over of watching Kammy score boundaries, Alex was back on strike. Swipe. Miss. Click. And the ignomimy of two golden ducks in the same innings of the same game: one for Wisden’s.

Kammy’s wicket followed shortly after and the lower order played out the final few overs to bring the score to 128.

It seemed that this was now a match that the Hines ‘Original’ Seven Variety team could only lose and the incessant rain threatened to dampen the spirits of the incoming batsmen.

The opening partnership of Jockey Dismore and Grandad Mellis, however, hadn’t read the script and seemed determined to match the innings of Butt and Blane. Dismore was plundering plenty of offside runs, but facing Kammy’s bowling - even in the best of conditions - leaves little room for error and he eventually played one of Kammy's trademark yorkers onto his off stump.

Mellis’s magisterial batting, however, exhausted the fielders and kept the run rate high. It was a surprise, thefore, to see nemesis-of-the-nets, Alex Leithead, finally take his wicket...although not before Grandad Mellis hit a four and six from the first two balls of the over.

The standard of Team Dismore’s batting remained consistently high, and Hines’ ‘Originals’ started to get nervous, especially when Ali Qayyum came out to bat.

But then Hines started his approach…

Ali’s ever-present vociferousness was momentarily softened in preparation for what he had eyed as the first of several boundaries that would crush the Hines ‘Original’ Seven Variety team. Lifting his bat, he swung and could scarcely believe the sound of the ‘click’ as the ball hit middle stump.

Game on.

Team Dismore’s last wickets tumbled in the final over as they finished eleven runs short of victory on 118, in a game that could have gone either way.

Cricket, though, was the real winner (underwater cricket) and its gods - appeased. At least they would have been, if they had been able to find their way to Nether Pollok.




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